March 2013
1 post
Going into overwhelm and out the other side
To bury or drown under a huge mass. To defeat completely. To crush. To overpower. To engulf. To surge over and submerge. These are just a few of the dictionary definitions of the word overwhelm.
For me, going into overwhelm is not only a state of mind - it’s an emotional, physical, spiritual state as well. When it happens, which it did to me last week, it feels as if I can’t move...
February 2013
1 post
How I changed my life with my own breath
When you come across a therapy that is measurably life-changing, you want to shout it from the rooftops. And, trust me, I rarely describe anything as life-changing.
So here’s the thing: breath work changed my life. So much so that I’m now training to become a breath work practitioner to help other people change their lives.
It’s not easy to put into words how powerful this...
January 2013
2 posts
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What is the gift of cynicism?
I’m currently reading Debbie Ford’s excellent book The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, which examines those parts of our psyche that we reject and bury in our subconscious. She shows that it is possible to acknowledge and accept what we judge as our “weaknesses” - and that these qualities conceal hidden gifts and strengths.
I had an opportunity to meet one of these...
3 tags
Integrate this: let everyday joy be unconfined
Having flogged myself by sticking to a post-a-day regimen for the first few months of 2012, this year I’m adopting a kinder, less-is-more attitude to blogging in the hope of cultivating a Bowie-esque mystique. Well, that’s my excuse, anyway.
However, now we have had the first new moon of the year, I am feeling a little more focused. This is where 2013 begins - a year that seems less...
December 2012
1 post
Story of the Day #4: Suddenly One Summer
It is the summer of 1976 - one of the hottest I have ever known. I am 19 years old, and personal secretary to a genial grey-haired transport specialist who is counting the days to retirement.
I have been doing this job since I left school at 18. It’s comfortable and undemanding, with a reasonable salary. I have no cause to imagine that my career will not continue along this predictable...
November 2012
3 posts
Story of the Day #3: Hell on Wheels
Yesterday I had a painful reminder of why, many years ago, I vowed to free myself from the tyranny of commuting. (Click here for that whole story.)
I’m fortunate enough that I have the choice not to travel in the rush hour and I understand that many people would say they don’t have a choice. However, I was shocked at how dehumanising the experience of travelling in London before...
Story of the Day #2: Sole to Soul
What is it about footwear that is so memorable? I still remember the sandals I wore to primary school – traditional Clarks with spongy soles and a T-bar, and the silvery sparklers I paraded around in when I was crowned May Queen.
That was when shoes were fun and easy. When I got to my teens, things got woeful and complicated. All of a sudden shoes were important, shoes spoke volumes about who...
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Story of the Day #1: A Warm Glass of Flat Cola
I am setting myself a new target: to write a story every day. I may not publish every one of them, but it’s a way of kick-starting myself back into the spiritual practice of writing from which I had become disconnected during a summer of divine discontent.
Here is the first story. All of them will be autobiographical, because part of my purpose is to help people understand that their story...
October 2012
1 post
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When silence isn't golden: the burden of untold...
I have been silent for some time. I couldn’t write - didn’t want to write, because the story I have been living has been deeply challenging on an emotional level. I may write about that story in the weeks, months to come but for now I feel moved to write about others who have been silent - some silenced, but most simply not heard - for many, many years.
For the past month or so I...
August 2012
3 posts
8 tags
The universe is expanding, so live a bigger...
Last night I watched a documentary about mapping the universe. What was extraordinary about this story for me was not only the skill and determination of the cosmologists involved to take on such a seemingly overwhelming project, but that they were willing to allow themselves to dream this big.
And what I also took away was that, when it comes to this vast, unimaginable scale all that...
4 tags
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We can all go for the gold in our stories
On the first day of the Olympics, I wrote a post about the grand, sweeping narratives playing out on TV. Since then I’ve been blown away by some of the stories that have emerged - not only of individual and team achievements but also the tragic yet inspiring tales of some of the medallists.
I watched yesterday as British judoka Gemma Gibbons fought her way to the final of her...
July 2012
7 posts
6 tags
Why the Olympic story is illuminating us all
I have spent the past two days reflecting on the power of story and why storytelling is currently enjoying a renaissance. Why now? Because in an age of instant messaging, social media and 24/7 news feeds we still crave stories to give us meaning amidst an unfathomable sea of information.
As I continue my inquiry, I’ve been watching the build-up to the start of the Olympics and realising...
6 tags
You are the one who can end your own suffering
A week ago I made a commitment to having fun, so I thought I’d report back on how well I’ve done - not that it was a competition or anything as serious as that.
Before I went away, it was cold and wet. Now I am sitting at my window and looking out at a cloudless blue sky. And I think we would all agree that it’s a lot easier to be joyful when the sun is shining.
But back to...
3 tags
The serious business of having fun
Today I am giving myself full permission to have some fun. In the past month or so I’ve done plenty of bread-and-butter work, coaching, workshops and mountains of brow-furrowing self-reflection but I certainly haven’t had much of the f stuff.
When life whacks you round the head with a challenge you tend to forget about such frivolity. But I’ve realised that not only is it...
6 tags
The importance of creating a safe inner space
In the work I do as a human potential coach I often talk to clients about creating a space in which they feel safe enough to explore their thoughts, emotions, intuitions and behaviours. And it got me thinking about how important it is for each of us to have a safe space in which we can rest, rejuvenate, ponder and simply be.
For some, this is an outer space - not in the cosmos, but a...
9 tags
Enter the Compassionate Ninja...
I’m a writer, OK? I’ve been a professional writer for more than 30 years. That’s what I do - I write. That’s how I communicate. That’s how I spread my ideas. That’s how I can show up without showing off. But guess what? I also have a voice. Not a voice that hides behind words, but a proper voice that makes sounds and everything…
Before I was a writer, I...
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The thrill of appearing outside yourself
There’s no getting away from the fact that I was a shy child. All through my school years my reports praised my conscientiousness and good standard of work but repeatedly criticised me for not speaking up.
A typical comment was: “Beverley is a quiet girl who would benefit from participating more in class discussions.” My teachers didn’t seem to consider my shyness might be a factor in this, or...
8 tags
I hurt, therefore I am telling a story
I learnt a big lesson about pain and suffering this week. Pain - both physical and emotional - is unavoidable in life, because we have a body. Emotional pain - in the form of sadness, grief, fear, anger or a messy combination of all these darker feelings - is damned uncomfortable but it’s actually nothing to be afraid of.
If you are prepared to turn towards the pain with great compassion,...
June 2012
10 posts
6 tags
The power of decision is my own
As I was sitting at home this morning, gazing at my bookshelves, my eyes fixed on the distinctive blue and gold spine of A Course In Miracles. After a minute or so, I felt moved to pick it up and open it at a random page.
It fell open at Lesson 152. The opening paragraph reads as follows: “The power of decision is my own. I cannot suffer loss unless it is my own decision. I cannot suffer...
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My own personal longing for fellowship
I have been reflecting today about fellowship. What it means, where you can get it, how you can become a part of it. To me a fellowship, in a non-religious sense, means a company of individuals connected by a common purpose, with similar interests and values, who are committed to that goal or purpose. Each individual works as part of a team to support the other individuals on their journey.
...
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When is an obstacle not really an obstacle?
Question: what do you do when someone places what seems like an insurmountable obstacle in front of you? Do you try to climb over it? Squeeze round the side of it? Or just give up and back off? Or do you play with the metaphor to see if there is a solution your conscious mind hasn’t yet come up with?
OK. Let’s play. What kind of obstacle is that obstacle? It is a great big boulder...
7 tags
No more Nice Girl: unleash your Inner Mean...
I used to believe that I wasn’t an angry person. That I didn’t “do” anger. I avoided loud people, rarely had arguments and condemned aggression.
Anger did not fit into my self-image. No, I was the nice girl - calm, balanced, sensible, controlled, reasoned, a people-pleaser. All sweetness and light. Except that I wasn’t. A covert hostility lurked beneath the...
5 tags
Finding a safe space in the pages of an old book
I want to talk about books. Not just any old books - I mean the books that either sit on your shelves, unloved and unread, or the books that you keep for years after you’ve first read them, waiting to be called to them once more.
One of the books that had languished unread on my shelves for some time was Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. I bought it years ago when...
5 tags
Would you don the invisible cloak of leadership?
According to Lao Tzu, the father of Taoism, a leader is best when people barely know he exists. When his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it all ourselves.
I resonate with this idea of collaborative leadership that empowers others. But I don’t expect old Lao Tzu would have imagined that his wisdom might also apply to women, who I believe are particularly skilled at...
5 tags
Hope is kindled by letting your light shine
Sometimes metaphors jump out at me. Often they come in the form of dreams, or in a turn of phrase; sometimes one can emerge from a comment overheard on a train. But my current favourite metaphor is appearing in the real world - first of all in the form of the Olympic Torch and its nightly ceremonies; then during the Diamond Jubilee - the lighting of the beacons.
I wrote about this in a previous...
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Are you a woman clothed with the sun?
As the sun rises at about 4.45am tomorrow morning, you may - if you have the correct eyewear and the sky is clear - witness a truly rare astronomical event. Only seven of these events have been recorded since the invention of the telescope, and they occur when Venus passes in front of the Sun, creating a dark spot that travels across the Sun’s surface.
These Venus transits come in pairs...
6 tags
If you could make history, who would you be?
This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I’ll never get a chance to see anything like this again. This is history in the making.
I’ve been hearing and reading comments like this quite a lot recently - about seeing the Olympic Torch, the London Olympics themselves, the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee, and even the upcoming Venus transit (of which more tomorrow).
We truly are living...
4 tags
My six-word reason for doing what I do
When I qualified as a human potential coach last year, I spent some time trying to focus on exactly what it was that I was offering to potential clients. I came up with various blurbs and explanations until I settled on one idea, which was actually based on a quote from Oprah Winfrey: turning wounds into wisdom.
To me this seemed to encapsulate what The Pearl Within is all about: delving deep...
May 2012
13 posts
4 tags
Mum's gift to me? A love of learning
Looking back, I realise that life is a big learning curve. I could have been the author of these words but no, they were written by my mother who, at 85, is a senior citizen in the true sense of senior - i.e. wise.
She was writing in answer to the question: “What have you learnt during your life that you would like to pass on to a younger person?” which I posed to her a few weeks...
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The day I finally found my voice...
I watched a video of myself today. This is something I would usually shy away from, but on this occasion it was different. Because it was a video of me doing my first ever talk to an audience.
Once I’d stopped judging my appearance and wondering why I do that weird lopsided thing with my mouth, I allowed myself to appreciate what I had achieved. Even I thought I came across well, and...
montana-wildhack asked: Came to your Tumblr after a search about 56 Up. Heartened by your story about marrying for the first time at 53 -- I'm a never-married 51 year old! I guess my question is, "So there's hope for me yet?"
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Why it's time to throw away the script...
Last week I stood up in front of a group of people, most of whom I didn’t know, and spoke without a script for about three minutes.
This may not seem like a tall order to many of you, but for me it was a big deal. It took every fibre of my being to break through my resistance and walk the few yards from seat to spotlight.
Why? Because I’m a writer. I enjoy the comfort of the...
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Eclipse news: will we all burn in the ring of...
Yesterday, millions of people from Texas to Japan were fortunate enough to witness one of our solar system’s most amazing light shows - an annular eclipse of the sun. As the moon moved over the sun to block out 94 per cent of its light, they were treated to the spectacular sight of a ring of fire in the sky.
While these days eclipses have turned into a tourist attraction, you can...
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Why I'm finally carrying a torch for the Olympics
For months I have been bemoaning the effect that the Olympics and Paralympics will have on my day-to-day life for a few weeks this year, when it will take me longer to get to work and there will be thousands of people streaming past my front door to get to the equestrian and cross-country events that are taking place in Greenwich Park.
I didn’t know whether to stay put and batten down...
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Forget reality TV, this is real life in all its...
Last month I wrote a post about the return of the Up Series - the pioneering documentary strand that began in 1964 and followed the lives of 14 Brits from the age of seven, revisiting them every seven years.
The first part of the latest instalment, 56 Up, was screened this week. I was struck by the fact that there had been less drama in the lives of the participants since they appeared in 49...
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Welcome your emotions like unexpected guests
Welcome to poetry corner. I’m by no means an expert but I admire the poet’s ability to communicate volumes in a few verses. Of all the poems that have resonated with me in recent times, this one by prolific 13th-century mystic Rumi really hits the mark:
THE GUEST HOUSE
This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary...
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What happens after you get what you always wanted?
Today I am going to write a post about football. Only it’s not really about football, rather like Field of Dreams isn’t really about baseball.
As those of you who follow the ups and downs of the Premiership will know, on Sunday Manchester City won the title for the first time in 44 years. Not only that, they won in the dying moments of extra time, and in doing so snatched the...
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The joy of finding wisdom in your family tree
I love the BBC genealogy programme Who Do You Think You Are?, which takes well-known people deep into their family history and on an emotional journey that often changes their lives for ever.
There is something truly profound about uncovering your roots, finding out who your ancestors were and what challenges they faced in their lives. I’ve dipped in and out of my family history over the...
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Why we should listen to the rhythm of our heart
i heart connection © erincarver.com
The heart is a mysterious organ. To some it’s simply a very efficient pump; to others it is the seat of the soul. But there isn’t a human being on earth who doesn’t know what it means to feel something in your heart, to have a heart that’s bursting with joy or a heart that’s broken.
When I want to access my intuition (inner...
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For those days when you need a protective bubble
I’m back. Well, I’m almost back but not quite. My head is full of cotton wool and I feel a little disorientated and delicate. I thought I’d be away - from home, from this virtual world - for five days but it has turned out to be a whole week.
As I said in my last post, if you remove the distractions of 21st-century life it’s harder to suppress or repress emotions we may not...
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What would you do without your 21st-century toys?
As of 2pm tomorrow afternoon, I will be unable to communicate electronically or telephonically for five days. It will probably sting for a while but I’ll get used to it fairly quickly. I know this because I managed to survive without my iPhone/iPad/Macbook for eight whole days last year.
No surfing the web, no texting, no emails, no Facebook, no Tumblr, no Twitter, no Pinterest, no...
April 2012
33 posts
7 tags
Why Einstein is the gift that keeps on giving
I find it fascinating that, more than 50 years after his death, Einstein is still the name we associate with genius. I’m sure this is partly because no one has disproved his theory of relativity but also because he was a very different kind of scientist to the largely reductionist types we see today. In fact, he thought of himself as religious.
Reading some of his quotes this morning I...
6 tags
I'm packing away that rod I made for my own back
I spend a good portion of my time telling other people to be kind to themselves, but rarely take my own medicine - especially when it comes to fulfilling my sacred schedule of writing a blog post every day.
I’ve come to realise that, having made a rod for my own back that has beaten me so effectively I often end up with a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders, something’s got to...
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Plug in to wisdom and surf the web of life
I’ve just returned from an entertaining and enlightening day in the presence of authors/coaches/inspirational speakers Robert Holden and Michael Neill.
Among the many nuggets they shared with us was the following metaphor. If you were given the choice of a sophisticated computer with a huge hard drive that wasn’t connected to the Internet or a sleek laptop with a fast broadband...
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Embrace your beautiful imperfection
I’ve had the honour of being part of three really special, authentic conversations today, and one theme that has recurred in these conversations has been that of self-acceptance.
In my experience, the path to the authentic self can only be followed by accepting all of your other selves first - the ones you identify with, the ones you reject, the ones you project and the ones you disown.
...
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Why it's the perfect time for women to shine
This morning I experienced another serendipitous moment when I happened upon the concept of the solar feminine. I’ve been interested in mythology and astrology for years and hadn’t come across this before - after all, the sun is traditionally viewed as masculine and the moon feminine.
So what does it mean? According to a quick Google search, the solar feminine is “creative,...
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Perhaps we should let joy be unconfined
You are carrying the accumulated joy of centuries. Setting aside for a moment what your logical mind makes of this, what if it were true? What if, rather than shouldering many generations-worth of pain and suffering, you have within you the joy passed down from your ancestors?
It’s an intriguing story. And if it were true, what if you lived your whole life without connecting with this joy...
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Give me a break, I'm about to go diving for...
Such are the demands of a sacred schedule that on some days I have to start writing a post without knowing what I’m going to write about. Today is such a day.
I’m usually brimming with ideas, or something I’ve read or heard will inspire me, but today I am feeling weary because of all the activity that is going on inside. That’s what happens to me when I’m about to...
5 tags
Let's do the time warp again...
I just can’t find the time. I don’t know where the time goes. Time seems to be speeding up. I hear these statements all the time, spoken by friends, family, colleagues, clients and often myself.
But in my experience, your perspective of time can change according to what you are doing and how you are feeling. Time is the province of the logical brain. But once you become lost in the...
