I’m back. Well, I’m almost back but not quite. My head is full of cotton wool and I feel a little disorientated and delicate. I thought I’d be away - from home, from this virtual world - for five days but it has turned out to be a whole week.
As I said in my last post, if you remove the distractions of 21st-century life it’s harder to suppress or repress emotions we may not want to face. And in the past week I have processed emotions which had been stored away, beyond my conscious awareness.
When stuff like that bubbles up it can be highly disconcerting but all you can do is acknowledge it, stay present and keep breathing - so that’s what I did.
It has made me realise how many layers of protection we build up around our core, just in order to deal with day-to-day life. Strip away those layers and you may feel exposed, vulnerable and unable to deal with other people’s energy.
If you have to go out in the world in a vulnerable state, then at least patrol your boundaries and let trusted people know you’re feeling a little fragile. Today, when people said “How are you?” I spoke my truth and told them I was feeling a bit wobbly, even though they weren’t prepared to hear anything but “I’m fine”.
It’s at times like this when I need a little extra help, so I turn to visualisation exercises such as the following one from Suzanne B Friedman’s book Heal Yourself with Qigong, which helps you to create a protective bubble.
- Sit upright in a chair with the backs of your hands resting on your thighs (palms up).
- Close your eyes and slow your breathing. Feel your whole body relax.
- Visualise a bubble around your body. Take as much time as you need to mentally create a thick bubble enveloping you.
- Once you clearly see yourself surrounded by a bubble, draw up a memory of a time or an experience when you felt particularly powerful, calm, or in charge.
- Let that feeling emanate out of your body to fill the entire bubble. Perhaps the feeling has a colour or quality you can see that fills the bubble.
- After you have filled your bubble, take another moment to see and feel it around you.
- Take a few deep breaths and carry on.
My bubble is like a big white balloon, pumped right up. Let’s hope no one bursts it.